Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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