Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
