What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize