Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
