Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
babies were throwing up all over the place
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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