He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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