I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
