okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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