He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
