For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
