Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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