Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
