these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
