her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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