yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I am midnight drunk by noon
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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