I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I could have mohawked her pubes.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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