Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
