I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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