Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
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