Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
BRING THE BAGELS
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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