I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
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WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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