Pappa wants mamma naked
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
