I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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