just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
