Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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