Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
