Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
