Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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