He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
