i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
