I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
