i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
