What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
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so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
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I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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