In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I smell like Dick and happiness
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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