not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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