Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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