dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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