Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
