Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
