Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My vagina is very pro this idea
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
