The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
