It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
