And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
