New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
