i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize