i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
