I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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