I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
