I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
