Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
