just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
this just has baby written all over it
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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