his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
