Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize