Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I wish life had little blips of pornography
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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