i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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