yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
