Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
