Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Randomize
